Linus van Pelt:
What are you going to do on Thanksgiving, Charlie Brown?
Charlie Brown:
My mother and Dad, and Sally and I are all going to my grandmother's for dinner.
Sally Brown:
Why don't you come along, Linus? We can hold hands under the table.
Linus van Pelt:
Blah.
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Chris Turk:
You know, I love how kids of divorce really have the market cornered on family dysfunction. But let me share with you a typical Thanksgiving at the Turk household: It starts with my mother yelling at my sister for yelling at my grandmother who's yelling at the television screen, which happens to be the microwave.
And then my militant brother Jabari - formerly Bob - gives my father attitude for using the word black, even though he's referring to the turkey. Which, by the way, only got burnt because instead of turning the oven off, my bi-polar aunt Leslie tried to shove her head in it. But you know what we do? We kiss... and we hug... and we apologize for all the things we said.. . 'Cause a month later, we gonna get together and do it again at Christmas!
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Edith Bunker:
I ain't been so proud of you since Uncle Willie cut his finger carving the Thanksgiving turkey and you stopped the bleeding by tying it up with the string they used to tie up the turkey's you-know-what with.
Archie Bunker:
How can you do that all in one breath?